Sunday, December 14, 2008
Retail Fail Redux

James got this guy; I didn't. Other than these straight-to-Anodyne-anecdotes, both stores have been busy, friendly places lately.

ME: Hi there.

HIM: History.

ME: Huh?

HIM: History section.

ME: Sure, this way. Here.

HIM: [mumble]

ME: Don't mention it.

HIM: I'm looking for a book called [OBSCURE TITLE].

ME: Never heard of it. Who wrote it?

HIM: Well, I don't know the author!

ME: I'd be happy to look it up for you.

HIM: You won't find it on your computer.

ME: It's not on Amazon?

HIM: No.

ME: It's not on Google?

HIM: No.

ME: Does it exist?

HIM: Well, I think it does.

ME: Let me know how that works out for you.

And while we're on the topic, wandering in the door and barking out a single word without any supporting context -- "Ishmael!" "History!" "Vampires!" "Germs!" etc. -- just makes it seem like you have Tourette's, and automatically decreases my hard-working staff's helpfulness.

Also, my very favorite Christmas phone call, the one I take every year like clockwork:

LOST GUY: What signed Tolkien books do you carry?

CJB [deep breath; ten-count; perky]: Sorry, we don't have any in right now!

LOST GUY: Why is that?

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