Anodyne
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
 
I Can Has Job?

Today's entry baldly plagarized from Mr. James Nadiger's Livejournal. I've been wanting to write an entry like this for ages, but JN has done a far, far better job of it.

"It's the beginning of summer and rank, desperate capitalism is in the air: It's resume season!

Wave after wave of young men and women descend upon us like destitute lemmings, eager to find employment for the summer, and bring us their carefully typed sheets of paper, filled to the brim with poems and songs of their heroic exploits of jobliness.

So far, my favourite was the kid who, under 'Skills' said: 'Fashionable: I add Style to the work place.' The kid was like, fourteen years old, and had previously added style to Buy-Low Foods.

Today, another hopeful stepped up to the plate:

Are you guys hiring? No.

Is it worth my while to leave a resume? Not really, unless you have bookstore experience, or some kind of retail equivalent. Do you?

No, but I'd really like to work here, all I've applied to are bookstores, and I'm a pretty smart guy. Well, go ahead.

Here is the best part of his cover letter (bold is mine), which proves, without fail, that most people don't understand bookstore life:

Hello Hiring Manger of Small Interesting Business,

I am hoping to find a calm and friendly atmosphere in which to work. Having a penchant for sound, music and filmmaking, I have determined that working outside of those industries is the best way to remain enthusiastic and passionate for them. With a coolheaded and lively demeanor, interacting with customers and co-workers is always a pleasure. I take pride in my ability to trust and be trusted, and am excited to dedicate myself as a reliable employee to your business.

Instead of SKILLS, he had a SPECIAL ABILITIES section, which I thought was cool, in a super-hero trading card kind of way, and one of this guy's special abilities is 'beatboxing.' He can also play the jaw harp, penny whistle, and didgeridoo."
- posted by cjb @ 11:43 AM


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