Anodyne
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
 
Je t'aime, Vancouver

Up at 5:30am, I park out on the balcony with a cup of tea and J.M. Coetzee's Elizabeth Costello. Light slowly leaks up into the sky. A cool wind rustles the trees. The neighborhood pigeons dip and flow. An adolescent crow calls, monotonously, off-key, for breakfast.

A guy with Car Thief written all over him (unshaven, ball cap, track pants, swag bag) sneaky-petes it down the sidewalk. He stops in front of the nice red late-model Honda parked directly across the street. Looks left, looks right. Scoots around to the passenger side, pops something heavy from his bag, and smashes the passenger window.

The Honda's car alarm goes off, hoot hoot hoot. I rise to my feet, heading for the phone and 911...

...and the curtains of the second-floor unit across the street whip back. An extremely fit-looking man in his mid-40s, clad only in boxers, vaults over his open windowsill, takes the fourteen foot drop to the lawn, sprints toward his car, and proceeds to beat Mr. Car Thief senseless.

Roll credits, fade to black.


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