Stinky Rodent

Whiffs of some putrifying substance in the office these last few hot days. Equal parts dog urine and maggoty restaurant debris.

Culprit #1: the office fridge.

Exhumed: orange juice tetrabrick (1 April 2005 expiry; solid jello-textured block of mold, clear liquid above); plastic tub of the substance-formerly-known-as hummus (coal-black; sparse green beard).

The odor persists.

Culprit #2: boxes of unsorted and forgotten junk.

Exhumed: stinky old sneakers (x2 pair), stinky socks, stinky climbing gear, stinky bag of rancid trail mix, newspapers, Kleenex, men's stick deodorant.

Waves of corpse-smell persist on into mid-afternoon.

Arm & Hammer Pet Deodorizer is sprinkled into the carpet, left to sit for twenty minutes, vaccuumed up.

The vaccuum bag splits up the side and sprays Pet Deodorizer, dust, human hair, & etc. all over the carpet.

"What the heck are you doing in there, anyway?"

Multiple phone calls.

Books arriving like planes out at YVR.

Off to Hellsgate (Kingsgate Mall).

Spray Lysol, "A" size vaccuum bags.

Re-sprinkle the carpet. New vaccuum bag. Suction like the vaccuum hasn't sucked in months.

Lovely clean carpet, nap visible once again.

Stinky computer chair Lysoled into submission.

Stack of books ready to be added to the online listings.

Two ISBNs in, and...

...wave after unrelenting wave of putrification and rot!

Up the ladder to investigate the ceiling.

"Keith called," says Chris Clarke, poking his head in the door. "He and I think this smell of yours is psychosomatic."

Down to floor level, sniffing like a bloodhound.

Nickels and dimes. Several loonies. Pens and pencils. A wrapped peppermint candy. Electrical cords.

Over to the fridge. Smell stronger now.

Wrestling the fridge out of the way.

Grey fur.

Someone's lunchbox fruit from January?

No, this furry object has a tail.

A very dead, decomposing, and ripe little mouse.

Mr. Mouse is carefully interred in a transparent Slurpee cup and transported to the garbage can up the block by the bus stop. Of course the transparent coffin and its resident arouses the interest of everyone waiting for the bus.

"You're going to throw him out? Just like that? You're not even going to bury him?" (Little kid at the bus stop)

"...you bet I am."
- posted by cjb @ 9:35 PM