Anodyne: 05/01/2020 - 06/01/2020

Old soul
- posted by cjb @ 6:55 PM

If you really want the things I have just help yourself
- posted by cjb @ 8:24 AM

Walmart Supercentre
retail theft. Under range
merchandise -- repeatedly
scanning a $.37 Ramen
Noodles UPC coupon
at the self-checkout.

Total value of items
improperly recorded:
$250.78.
- posted by cjb @ 6:28 PM

T.: charged with
2nd-degree criminal
weapon possession,
imprudent speed,
& a window tint
violation.

T. led officers
on a brief chase,
saying he fled
because of
"a little weed"
in his SUV.

"I was smoking
a blunt, joyriding
around," said T.,
arrested.

Drug charges pending.
- posted by cjb @ 6:20 PM

- posted by cjb @ 12:36 PM

The incident began
at 1:30 a.m.,
when the man, 42,
asked for her keys
to take a ride
& returned
at 5:30 a.m.

When asked if
he had gotten high,
he replied, “Of course.
I’m an addict.”

Displeased, she said
he had a week to leave.

Later, in an strangely
altered state,
he shook as he choked
& bit her.

She got away and went
upstairs with the baby.

He broke down
the bedroom door
& choked her again.

Dizzy, still holding
the baby, she urinated
in her pants
as they struggled
together on the bed.

Twice he said
he wouldn’t allow her
to call police.

Eventually she got to her car
& drove to the station.

Responding officers found him
leaving through a side door.
His shirt was wet in front
& he still shook, speaking,
making no sense.

Prior to arrest,
he sent a text stating
he was going to
"take all the pills."

Officers found
5 empty bottles
of prescription drugs.

Items covered in
fine white powder
were also found
in the home.
- posted by cjb @ 7:00 PM

East Huffman Road
resident calls police --

he's a theft victim!

Arriving officers

talk to the man.

He purchased

a PlayStation 4,
sent money online,
received what
he thought

was the game.

Opened the package --
no magic console.

Seller sent
motor oil instead.
- posted by cjb @ 4:26 PM

A man breaks his way into
the Great Canadian Dollar Store.

Neighbors call police;

the suspect escapes in a car.

A short while later,
a man with cut hands
carries a cash register
into a home along
Victoria Avenue South.

A 24-year-old Mississaugan is arrested.
- posted by cjb @ 6:16 PM

May 5th, 3:48 a.m.
Elderly woman calls 911:

dead body in her car.

Police arrive, can't locate

anything -- including the body.

No suspicious activity.
The woman's report
is based on a dream.

Everything is OK.

- posted by cjb @ 6:10 PM

30+ calls re: UFOs
traveling north by northeast
over the I-magine Multiplex,
20653 Keokuk Avenue.
Later determined to be
SpaceX Starlink satellites,
passing silently above.
- posted by cjb @ 6:00 PM

Report of a stuck cat
in the engine area
of a vehicle parked
in Whole Foods
Pinecrest's lot.

Officers retrieve kittens
from under the dashboard.
- posted by cjb @ 12:32 PM

Tobacco Nest store,
6818 S. Route 83:
a male stole a box of Posh Plus
disposable vaping devices
& fled, c. 4:15 p.m.,
in a small, red
sport utility vehicle.
- posted by cjb @ 12:03 PM

Catfished online, a woman sent

$573 to a person believed to be

an assistant to actor Johnny Depp.

The woman said she contacted

Johnny Depp's official Instagram account

& messaged who she believed

to be Depp & his assistant.

She said she fell in love with Depp,

and sent explicit photos of herself.

She provided personal information

& was sent a picture of a completed passport

so that she could fly to France

to meet Depp face to face.

She said she was asked for money

because Depp’s own funds were frozen

& told the money would be used

to send a private jet for her.

A greater amount of money was requested,

but she sent all she had available.

Officers advised the woman, 64,

not to provide personal information

or send money to anyone online

she does not personally know.

- posted by cjb @ 9:09 PM

4:34 a.m: a resident
of the 600 block of G Street
reports several people
under her house,
placed there by Satan
who opened a portal
to the underworld.
- posted by cjb @ 1:05 PM

Thursday evening, callers tell police
of a drunken, naked woman
mid-block near Bernard and Willow.

Officers locate a woman
matching the description
sitting in the street without a shirt on,
and only a nude-colored bra.

The woman says
she doesn’t know
where her shirt is,
and sways and slurs
while speaking.

Officers note
a half-empty vodka bottle,
& she says she drank
half the bottle that same day --

arrested, charged
with public intoxication.
- posted by cjb @ 2:13 PM

Keyed on a vehicle's passenger side:
phallic image, racial slur. Vandalism.
- posted by cjb @ 12:11 PM

Police called to Lee Road Dollar General.
Dog in a locked parked car. Small, white
dog in a car. Air temperature of 55 F
& fog on the car’s back window
where the dog lies. Employees state
car parked for over 2 hours. Windows up.
Officers unlock it & call for a kennel.
Car's owner, 50, male, appears.
Says he went home, lost track of time.
Informed of danger leaving dog in a closed car,
cited for animal cruelty.
- posted by cjb @ 10:03 AM

That the division
may retain a record
of each activity
of the uniformed force,
a “desk blotter”
should be maintained
by the sergeant & head
of the detective bureau.
A large, bound book
recording all movements
of the force chronologically.
The only record
known as a “blotter.”
All others known
as “records.” Ruled
with a marginal column,
left edge of each page,
2 inches wide.
The book's entries
& method of making them
always in accordance
with specific rules.
- posted by cjb @ 4:29 PM

Police broke up a fight
in front of Speedway,
East Riverside Drive.
One fighter, trespassed
from Speedway,
told officers he would
come back & shoot them
with a .40-caliber gun.
- posted by cjb @ 3:03 PM

Vietnam Veterans Park caller:
someone walking their dogs
past a sign that states,
“No dogs allowed.”
Police educated one man.
- posted by cjb @ 2:44 PM

Second-degree criminal mischief.
Disorderly conduct,
engaging police in pursuit.
Reckless driving. Improper
use-marker/license/registration.
Illegal operation of motor vehicle
without minimum insurance;
unregistered motor vehicle;
illegal operation
of unregistered motor vehicle.
Grievous bodily harm.
- posted by cjb @ 11:53 AM