Saturday, May 16, 2009

Oooooh, darlin' darlin'
It's your style to change your mind
But darlin' darlin'
Each time you do
I rearrange to suit you
In and out
Round and round again

Oooooh, darlin' darlin'
Life was all glitter
Everything just a game
But darlin' darlin'
Now you're so bitter
Everything's pouring rain

In and out
On and on and you're
Turning me upside down
Turning me inside out
And I feel
My head is spinning round

Round, round we go (round, round we go)

Oooooh, darlin' darlin'
Each day's a new day
A change in the weather
But darlin' darlin'
Each mood is a new one
Nothing remains the same

In and out
On and on and you're
Turning me upside down

Turning me inside out
And I feel
My head is spinning round

Round, round we go (round, round we go)

Anodyne Inc.

Staggering back up onto my feet in Main Street's front room, still swinging. Updated mostly for the three of you out there who care.

Current portfolio:

Dominion Citrus Income Fund (DOM.UN): 12,346 units
E-L Financial Corporation (ELF): 7 shares
Hart Stores (HIS): 1769 shares
Loblaw Companies (L): 217 shares
Norbord, Inc. (NBD): 1820 shares
North West Company Fund (NWF.UN): 600 units
Parkland Income Fund (PKI.UN): 4114 units
TerraVest Income Fund (TI.UN): 1109 units
Amerigo Resources, Inc. (ARG): 1895 shares

Distributions and dividends:

Parkland Income Fund (PKI.UN): 3901 units x .105/unit = $409.61 (15 Oct) + 4114 units x .105/unit = $3023.79 (15 Nov, 15 Dec, 15 Jan, 15 Feb, 15 Mar, 15 April, 15 May). Grand total, $3433.40.

E-L Financial Corporation (ELF): 7 shares x .125/unit = $1.76 (30 Dec, 31 Mar) <--!!!!!!

TerraVest Income Fund (TI.UN): 1109 units x .055/unit (15 Oct, 15 Nov, 15 Jan, 15 Feb, 15 March, 15 April, 15 May) = $426.93 + 1109 units x .105/unit (15 Dec) = $116.45. Grand total, $543.38.

Norbord, Inc. (NBD): 1820 shares x .10/share = $182.10 (27 Nov)

Loblaw Companies (L): 217 shares x .21/share = $91.14 (11 Dec, 11 Mar)

North West Company Fund (NWF.UN): 600 units x .32/unit = $384.00 (29 Dec, 31 Mar)

Current value (as of Friday): $71204.65. Cash balance, $4651.14
Wednesday, May 13, 2009

NITROGEN TRUCKS WEDNESDAY, says the no-parking sign by the hospital. Today, in the spot usually occupied by the Mitsubishi Delica Star Wagon, a huge tanker truck, its back gate ajar. Frosty white mist swirls around a man working there with a huge pipefitter's wrench held between a pair of bright orange insulated gloves. A plastic face shield, too, like a welder's, covered in frost.

A frosty grey segmented hose, like one of Dr. Octopus' legs, snakes across the sidewalk to an ice-rimed intake pipe. The crusty white build-up, all sculpted and textured like an alpine cornice, looks strangely out of place beside the hospital garden's huge red rhododendrons and blooming pink azaleas.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Dear UK-Based Academic Publisher:

Thanks for your query, which I've carefully reviewed. I do not see any mention of payment for the non-exclusive right to reprint my [15,000 word interview with Frank Miller, originally published in The Comics Journal] in the information you have enclosed. I will be pleased to grant you the right to reproduce the work, but not gratis.

I think a suitable fee for reprinting this text would be $278 USD, the retail price of one of your anthologies. I would like this money to be donated to the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund, a US based charity, by your organization, "on behalf of Frank Miller and Christopher Brayshaw."

I hope that you will find this solution agreeable; if so, please send me an amended release which I will be more than happy to promptly sign and return.

Very sincerely yours,


(Illustration courtesy Frank Miller)

UPDATE: UK-based Academic Publisher promptly agreed. Score one for common sense and the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund, a cause that Frank Miller and I both support.
Monday, May 11, 2009

(In lieu of the second and third periods of the game)

Reading -- stunned by -- Joseph O'Neill's Netherland. Lots of hate for this book from the Village Voice and various other self-appointed gatekeepers of the avant-garde. "Bourgeois realism" is the most frequently thrown-out jibe, which I suppose you could also throw at Proust and Fitzgerald, two writers that O'Neill immediately reminds me of. His book's prose is so clear that it's almost transparent, like water. But just as turbulence produces all kinds of complicated spatial effects in clear water (reflections; distortions; abstraction of detail) so too do O'Neill's sentences slide over, almost surripticiously, into a kind of early Modernism, a linguistic Fauvism packed with vividly-colored and "abstract" details.

O'Neill's protagonist is a Dutch investment analyst with a few million in the bank, but I feel much closer to him than to, say, Doug Coupland's or William Gibson's ostensibly white-collar protagonists, who apparently lack any capacity for interior reflection.
Middle-aged Native guy wearing a black warmup jacket with a stylized silver Haida eagle on the back stands talking on his cellphone in the middle of sidewalk, oblivious to the rain hammering off his head and glasses.

"She's in a persistent vegetative state. Of course I can't talk to her."
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Memo to Defective Kitteh

Dear Mighty Hunter,

That's my penis and testicles under the coverlet, not a mouse.

Please rethink the whole 3am pounce-claw-bite routine. Thank you.

Sincerely yours,


"In 1974, in his State address to Congress, Gurkhal Surjan, Patwallia Dist., stated that the world will be tested by Texas Instruments, and English diction."

Handcream for a Generation

Heavy Soup, Mr. Otis Clay on the mic. "All the way from London. All the way from central London."

Staging the Plaguing of the Raised Platform. T. Rex guitar, tinkly wind-up clock, kiddie chorus.

And the, the presidents that you are against
And consequence that it may all go wrong

And then the badly bricked walls that will leave us all done for

The dope, dope and the colour you want for

The London Radar. "You won't find all that you do here easy."

Slip the Drummer One. Feat. Rob Swift and some great Vo-Coding.

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