Friday, April 25, 2008
Tonight's Youtube:

Oh please don't let these shakes go on

Try it, try my love

Faces in disguise

You may not have a car at all

And several great favorites from the past:

Seems Helen of Troy has found a new face again

I'm sensitive about my height

George Stanley and Peter Culley, two of my favorite poets, reading tonight from their new books Vancouver: A Poem and The Age of Briggs and Stratton, in Pulpfiction's front room, 2422 Main Street, beginning around 7pm. If you live in Vancouver and even remotely share my taste, c'mon down. Cold beverages in the trash-can ice bucket by donation, and free mezze courtesy New Star Books.
Thursday, April 24, 2008

Anodyne Inc. Quarterly Report to Shareholders

Previously unaccounted-for dividends and distributions:

TerraVest Income Fund (TI.UN): 1109 units x .04167/unit = $46.21 (15 Mar)

Parkland Income Fund (PKI.UN): 3601 units x .105/unit = $378.11 (15 Mar)

TerraVest Income Fund (TI.UN): 1109 units x .04167/unit = $46.21 (15 Apr)

Parkland Income Fund (PKI.UN): 3601 units x .105/unit = $378.11 (15 Apr)

Loblaw Companies (L): 217 shares x .21/unit = $45.57 (1 April)

Amerigo Resources (ARG): 1895 shares x .065/share = $123.18 (2 April)

Norbord Inc. (NBD): 1280 shares x .10/share = $128.00 (21 March)

North West Company Fund (NWF.UN): 600 units x .12/unit = $72.00 (22 Feb, special distribution)

North West Company Fund (NWF.UN): 600 units x .32/unit = $192.00 (15 April)

E-L Financial (ELF): 7 shares x .125/share = $ .88 (17 April, world's most generous)

Cash balance, $1410.27

Current portfolio:

Dominion Citrus Income Fund (DOM.UN): 12,346 units
E-L Financial Corporation (ELF): 7 shares
Hart Stores (HIS): 1769 shares
Loblaw Companies (L): 217 shares
Norbord, Inc. (NBD): 1820 shares
North West Company Fund (NWF.UN): 600 units
Parkland Income Fund (PKI.UN): 3601 units
TerraVest Income Fund (TI.UN): 1109 units
Amerigo Resources, Inc. (ARG): 1895 shares


Anodyne Inc., 25 October 2006 - 24 April 2008: (3.60%) decrease

TSE 300 index, 25 October 2006 - 24 April 2008: 13.19% increase

Relative result: (16.79%)

This quarter's performance is a good example of why I have no interest in running money for anyone but myself. If I, God forbid, had a CFA degree and investors, even close friends or loved ones, I strongly suspect most of them would have pulled their money out a month or two ago when the short-term results started going south. Fortunately I have no one to answer to but myself (and the few of you who do read these quarterly updates, which seem, judging by the mailbag, to be the least-loved and least-understood topic under discussion here). So once again the usual caveat: I grade my horizon on a rolling three- to five- year horizon, as should you, and "volatility" is a fundamental part of securities analysis. To quote my old high school physics teacher, "Look, it goes up and down!" And down, and down, and down. The natural temptation is to assume the market knows more about the securities you own than you do, and to panic, and to sell out, or "diversify" into something "safer." No shortage of problems: Norbord's bleeding cash; Hart's sales are down; Amerigo's power costs have soared; Dominion Citrus' CFO departed under mysterious circumstances, & etc. Loblaw is vilified in the Globe and elsewhere as a "classic value trap." Well, maybe. My sense is that you pay a price for consensus, and that I know more about the companies I currently own than the market does. Some examples: at its present price, Loblaw is currently trading at about a 10-12% discount to my estimate of the fair market value of its real estate. At its current share price, the grocery business -- the merchandise; the name; the admittedly dented but still tangible goodwill -- is free. Ditto Norbord, leaking money like a sieve, but trading at approximately 50% of the replacement value of its mills. Ditto Dominion Citrus, the most misunderstood and unloved of all my holdings, which just ticks quietly along, earning $ .08-.10/year, eg., trading today at a P/E ratio of 5.5. Insiders at all of these companies have been steadily buying in the public markets (see, a valuable free resource). One assumes that, as rational managers, they have reasonable if not perfect insight into the economics of their businesses, and that they see medium- to long-term value in owning small pieces of them. So, at any rate: not much change for now here at Anodyne Inc. HQ. "Keep calm and carry on." Anyone with specific questions about particular portfolio holdings should get in touch.


Waste My Time, Please

OVERDRESSED KITS MOM: Hello. Do you have any books by Albert Payson Terhune.

CJB: Sorry, I don't recognize the name.

OKM: Really!

CJB: What can you tell me about him?

OKM: He wrote stories about dogs. About collies.

CJB: Really!
August Kleinzahler, an excerpt from his dead-on San Francisco/New York:

What is more touching
than a used-book store on Saturday night,
dowdy clientele haunting the aisles:
the girl with bad skin, the man with a tic,
some chronic ass at the counter giving his art speech?

Monday, April 21, 2008

Useful House Mouse Management Guidelines from UC Davis (my italics):

"Trapping is an effective method for controlling small numbers of house mice. Although time-consuming, it is the preferred method in homes, garages, and other structures where only a few mice are present. Trapping has several advantages: (1) it does not rely on potentially hazardous rodenticides; (2) it permits the user to view his or her success; and (3) it allows for disposal of trapped mice, thereby eliminating dead mouse odors that may occur when poisoning is done within buildings."
ACT (Aesthetically Claimed Thing): Long walk 'round perennial Team Cat favorite Buntzen Lake, including a detour along the infrequently travelled South Ridge trail, high above the lake, providing some nice views of Swan Falls and a pocket of massive old growth Douglas Firs that somehow escaped being felled and skidded around the turn of the last century.

ART (Aesthetically Rejected Thing): Evicting the mouse colony that recently set up shop in the back storeroom. Four dead ones, all ripe; six live ones (who fled squeaking into the wall at the speed of light); mouse shit; mouse piss; one sleeping bag chewed to ratshit and converted into a mouse nursery. Nothing says "pride of business ownership" like dry heaving in the bathroom after being overcome by Mus musculus' by-products. "So you're a murderer now." Check, affirmative.
From Ticketmaster

"Hi CHRISTOPHER, The ticket(s) you ordered on April 14, 2008 for STEELY DAN have been printed! They will be shipped to you shortly via US Mail!"
Sunday, April 20, 2008

Be still for a second while I try and try to pin your flowers on

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